Designing with Empathy: An Interview with Tamar

Interviewee: Tamar Ayalew

Interviewer: Arpit Malhotra

In this conversation, Arpit Malhotra speaks with Tamar Ayalew about architecture, fashion, collaboration, and finding purpose in practice. As an emerging designer and incoming Master of Architecture candidate at the University of Michigan, Tamar reflects on how education, politics, and empathy shape her approach to design. The conversation reveals how young architects today navigate ambition, authenticity, and the evolving role of creativity in shaping communities.

On Choosing Architecture

Arpit: What influenced your decision to pursue architecture? Was it passion, curiosity, or external factors?

Tamar: The choice was entirely my own. I’ve always been fascinated by the built environment, even as a child, before I fully understood why. Growing up near Washington, D.C., I was surrounded by distinct architectural styles. Old Town, Virginia, where I live now, had a character of its own — very different from suburban areas. I was drawn to that sense of identity architecture can give to a place.  Additionally, I found myself becoming increasingly interested in how the places we live in can impact our mental health. The various spaces we move through every day have a profound impact on how we feel and interact, and that realization drew me toward architecture.

Arpit: I come from Delhi, and I’ve lived in D.C., and you’ve lived there too. Do you think politics determines the kind of architecture we’re building today? Was it one of the factors that made you connect to architecture — seeing how power, leadership, and the visions of our leaders shape the way we live?

Tamar: I felt that architecture was an interesting way to bring together community and political justice within the environment. Just seeing the disparity around me and how gentrification was growing in my town made me think about that connection. Because architecture is so diverse, especially in political cities, it really shows how design can influence equity and social change.

On Spaces and Emotion

Arpit: You mentioned how our mental health is impacted by the spaces we interact with. Do you recall any spaces that made you feel inspired or emotionally affected?

Tamar: Definitely. My family often visited D.C. museums — the Library of Congress, the Air and Space Museum, and the National Gallery of Art. Those spaces left me in awe. They created a sense of wonder that stayed with me. I realized that architecture could deeply influence mood and mental well-being.

Arpit: It's True that the connection between space and emotion is powerful.  I remember visiting the Jewish Museum in Berlin, which makes people experience, through architecture, a sense of what that community went through. Maybe not to the same extent, but you still feel that emotion through space.

Tamar: Yes, even small spaces can do that. I used to rearrange my room constantly — the bed, furniture, everything — just to change how it felt. That sensitivity to spatial arrangement probably set the foundation for my love of design.

On Education and Growth

Arpit: How did you choose your undergraduate and graduate schools?

Tamar: For undergrad, I stayed in-state — it was practical and affordable. For grad school, Michigan stood out for its fabrication and technology focus. I also wanted to be in an environment that challenged me, where I could learn both the creative and the pragmatic sides of design.

Arpit: Did location matter to you when choosing schools?

Tamar: Absolutely. Being in or near a city is inspiring. Urban environments are rich in diversity, culture, and energy. But I also recognize that quieter settings can help focus. There’s a balance for us to find.

On Professional Aspirations

Arpit: Do you see yourself working for a firm or starting your own practice?

Tamar: My parents always encouraged me to be independent — to never work for anyone else. They’re both in healthcare but run their own businesses. That entrepreneurial mindset influenced me early. My mom has her own home healthcare business, and seeing the freedom she had was both confronting and inspiring. I’d love to have my own practice eventually, where I can focus on community-based projects, as the first architect in my family.

Arpit: Has growing up around business shaped how you view clients and management?

Tamar: Definitely. Watching my mother taught me about communication, boundaries, and negotiation — all critical skills for running a practice. Architecture is as much about people as it is about buildings.

Arpit: You said you are the first one in your family as an architect, so that means you are getting all the projects.

Tamar: Hahaha, Yeah. I know. That was something I thought about. There is no competition.

Arpit: Would it be hard for you to charge fees from your close ones?

Tamar: I don’t think I could work for free just because they’re family or friends. I’d probably give a discount, but I don’t think it’s feasible in our economy to do anything entirely for free. Maybe the initial project, just to build a client base — the first one, I think I’d do that for free.

On Master Architects and Collaboration

Arpit: So, coming to the next question — how do you perceive the legacy of master architects, beyond them as designers? Do you think we need authority and control in creative leadership?

Tamar: I think the whole idea of the “master architect” or “starchitect” is something I’ve always seen differently. For me, architecture should be more collaborative. Collaborative architecture creates stronger, more connected communities.

My interest in architecture has always come from the community aspect — that’s how I’ve understood it since undergrad. I took classes focused on that, and it’s been my reason for studying architecture from the very beginning. I think the idea of a “master architect” doesn’t really fit within the narrative of community building. It’s often centered on one person’s vision, which doesn’t leave much room for collaboration or for understanding context.

Arpit: Yes, 100%. Some of those architects had great technical knowledge about climate or light, but they didn’t always understand the social or cultural context.

Tamar: Exactly — and that’s the issue I have with that model. Sometimes architecture becomes ego-driven. It turns into the pursuit of creating a showpiece — rather than something that serves people. That was something I struggled with early on, realizing that while there’s a lot of discussion about architecture as a tool for community and collective care, in practice, it’s not always reflected.

At both schools I attended, the education emphasized social awareness and empathy, but it’s much harder to find those values in the professional world. Grappling with that gap was something I really struggled with.

Arpit: They say every architecture student develops a design language with a kind of ego, or a desire for their work to be recognized. Did you ever feel that within yourself? And if so, how did you deal with it?

Tamar: To be honest, I don’t think I ever did, because my “why” — my reason for studying architecture — has always been very clear to me. When you don’t have a strong why, it’s easier to fall into the mindset of wanting recognition or validation. And I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to make bold or interesting spaces — that’s part of design. But if your motivation shifts away from people and toward yourself, that’s when you start neglecting the needs of the community.

For me, staying grounded in that purpose — knowing that the spaces I want to make are not about proving something, but about creating places people genuinely need and want to inhabit — keeps me centered.

Arpit: How do you think the general public perceives architects? I feel like there’s this perception that some of these star architects are treated almost like celebrities — we admire them, even hero-worship them. What is your opinion?

Tamar: Most people outside of architecture probably couldn’t even name a star architect. I think we’re definitely in a bit of a bubble — and in a way, that’s actually healthy; it helps keep our egos in check.

We should think about what it means to be a designer and, honestly, what it means to be human. It’s important to maintain empathy, and I think that only happens when we stop treating architects — or even ourselves — as heroes or celebrities.

When one person is given too much power, it inevitably builds up their ego. But when the process becomes more collaborative and collective, that’s when architecture becomes stronger and more grounded.

On Style, Presentation, and Confidence

Arpit: You have a distinct style and presence. How do you see fashion and self‑presentation for architects?

Tamar: I think fashion should be treated as another way to express your creativity. As architects, we’re already inclined to think creatively, and fashion is just another way to show that. You don’t have to minimize yourself in school or in a work environment — there are different ways to express that side of yourself.

You can still wear a business-casual outfit and find little ways to personalize it — maybe through accessories or jewelry. I definitely feel more put together when I intentionally choose an outfit rather than just throwing something on. That sense of intention has helped me gain confidence, especially in new settings or professional environments.

Arpit: Confidence — I think so too. I feel like even if you don’t necessarily have it, the way you present yourself can still show it. Perception is reality.

Tamar: When you know you’ve put time and thought into your outfit and your style, you naturally carry yourself differently. It shows that you’re intentional — and that awareness is part of how you plan and move through the world.

On Communication and Marketing

Arpit: Do you think architects need marketing or communication training?

Tamar: Absolutely. Architects are great at design but not always at communicating ideas. We’re taught to create, but rarely how to present or sell our vision. Being able to explain and market your ideas clearly is essential — otherwise, even great concepts can go unnoticed.

Arpit: So communication is as vital as design itself.

Tamar: Yes. Articulating thoughts, even in classroom discussions, helps build that skill. It’s something every architect should practice consciously.

Closing Reflections

Arpit: What keeps you motivated when the work becomes stressful?

Tamar: Remembering my ‘why’. Architects like Liz Ogbu and Zena Howard inspire me — women who design with empathy and purpose. Their work reminds me that architecture can shape communities meaningfully. Keeping that perspective helps me stay grounded and resilient.

Arpit: That’s a powerful note to end on, staying connected to purpose.

Tamar: Exactly. Architecture isn’t just about structures; it’s about people and stories.

Interview conducted and recorded in Ann Arbor, Michigan, on October 6th, 2025.

About the Guest

Tamar Ayalew is an incoming Master of Architecture candidate at the University of Michigan’s Taubman College of Architecture and Urban Planning.She holds a B.S. in Architecture with a minor in Urban and Environmental Planning from the University of Virginia, where she graduated in 2023.

Her experience spans work with Gensler, Bonstra | Haresign Architects Washington, D.C, and the Neighborhood Design Center MD, where she contributed to community-driven and socially responsive design projects.

In 2024, Tamar became the first recipient of the Robin Guenther Memorial Scholarship, awarded by Perkins&Will in honor of excellence in sustainable and socially conscious design.

She continues to explore how architecture can foster social interaction, cultural exchange, and well-being in the built environment.